Thoughts while I wait...

I quite often find myself in situations where I don't have a computer or a book but have time to kill; therefore my attempt to use my time a little more wisely.  Today was the second day back after Christmas break and I am tired. I'm sure its due in part to it also being my second day back on the 5/1 plan.  Krystal and I restarted together and both of us plan on helping each other.  Have to check with her later to see how today went for her.  I had a good day except for the trail mix which was mostly peanuts and raisens (sp?).  I think ther were three or four chocolate candies.

I've been thinking more about working on that support network and have thought about a couple of people I would like to approach for some advice.  I've never had a group of friends or even a friend I felt I could turn to for support and advice. I'm prety sure this is a problem of my own creation; however, every 'problem' has a solution!

I wanted to share my most recent ...time to go for now.

Now for my thoughts...

When I was 10 years old I prayed for salvation and committed myself to Christ.  I wanted to do only God's will from that point on in my life.  As I read through the various materials for Codependents Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous I realized that I have

1. Admitted I was powerless over sin.
2. Believe that God can restore me to sanity.
3. I have given my life and will over to God. (I just need to get better at staying out of the driver's seat!)
4. I am constantly taking a moral inventory of my life.
5. This is where the daily living part comes in and where I need to improve.  Steps 4-12 are steps that may be repeated several during a lifetime due to circumstances and decisions we make.

No, I don't think I need a 12 step program for the steps; however, there is something to be said for the fellowship that can be found.  I tried one of the Coda meetings here in the area and was not impressed at all.  In fact it was rather depressing.  When I walked in no one made eye contact, said hello  or acknowledged that we had entered into a room where a meeting was going to soon begin.  Thankfully we had chosen to be there and were in the correct room.  As the meeting progressed each person read from their chosen script in sometimes bare audible monotones.  Then as participants shared there was no rhyme or reason to the sharing - unlike the AA and NA meetings I have attended.

My time is short tonight so I'll end with my thoughts from this morning:
*I need to set a schedule that includes working on self
*I need to work on establishing my 'support' network

How does one go about developing a support network?

The 12 steps...

The following are the 12 steps as they would read for either a (codependent) or an overeater...

1. We admitted we were powerless over (others) food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to (codependents) compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Codependency; another way to look at it...

Am I Co-Dependent?   

These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.  (I underlined the ones that I identify with in some way)

   Denial Patterns:

• I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
• I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
• I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
• I lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
• I label others with my negative traits.
• I can take care of myself without any help from others.

Overeater, codependent or both; on the other hand, does it really matter?

Are You a Compulsive Overeater? (From Overeaters Anonymous)

This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive eater.

1. Do you eat when you’re not hungry?  yes
2. Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?  yes
3. Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?  yes
4. Do you give too much time and thought to food?  yes
5. Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?  yes
6. Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?  yes
7. Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?  yes
8. Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?  yes but getting better...
9. Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall